Article by Rachael Carman first published in THSC REVIEW May 2014.
So, we started this journey eighteen years ago now. Through a series of circumstances, we found ourselves in a situation we never could have predicted. The system had failed us, and we had pulled our oldest son out of public school.
The ensuing years have been bumpy and blessed. Some of the bumps have been more like huge mountains, seemingly insurmountable. Some days have been too short, and others too long. But the blessings have been more than anything I could have imagined.
I am officially ready to confess the following:
1. I am addicted. This journey has given me a front row seat to the work of God. I tell you, I have seen miracles. I have experienced miracles. I have come to know God, not just know about Him. Through this journey God has become real to me. He has become real to my children. I get to see Him everyday—in little things and in big things. He is right here with us everyday and all through the day. We know we need Him, and He glories in our need for Him.
2. I am grateful. I did not want to home school my kids. I made fun of home schooling and home schoolers. I was not gracious or kind. I didn’t understand, so I criticized. Now I am so thankful that God orchestrated circumstances that brought us to the decision to home school. His drawing us into home education was His drawing us further into relationship with Himself. Here on this path, which has been lonely and where we have often been misunderstood, He has always been close. He has directed, encouraged, and strengthened us along the way.
3. I am not perfect. If I didn’t know this before today, I know it now. In many ways I thought I had it going on before we started home schooling. I really did. I had a plan, of which I was the center. Like most of us, I knew I was imperfect, but I worked diligently to avoid facing or dealing with that fact. Hiding and denying my inadequacies dominated my actions. Maintaining an illusion was the focus. Now I know that my imperfections are where God shows up the mightiest and I am no longer fearful. My imperfections and weaknesses are now where He can display His strength.
4. I do not have it all figured out. When we first started, I thought figuring it all out was the objective. I thought that I would plan out the ideal educational method (including curriculum) for all of the children and then just work the plan. I didn’t take into account that my children are individuals. I wanted a formula. There were many for sale. But they didn’t work. Now I know that home schooling is a faith journey. It isn’t about figuring it all out. It is about trusting God and walking by faith.
5. I am confident. My confidence is not in a curriculum, in an educational plan, or in myself. No, my confidence is squarely where God has intended it to be all along—in Him. I am confident in His good, pleasing, and perfect will. I am confident that I can trust Him to continue to be faithful. I am confident that He is in control and that He is sovereign. This confidence means that I can relax and rest in Him. I need not panic. He is faithful!
I’m a home schooling mom just like you. Every day is a challenge. No matter how much I plan, things happen. Challenges and obstacles abound. And yet this I know: “He is able to keep that which I’ve committed until that day.” I pray “that day” is fast approaching, but until then, I choose to worship and trust Him! He is worthy!