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Our Children, Our Mirrors

 Leslie Aune

Texas Home School Coalition Association REVIEW © May 2005

We have a problem with sarcasm in our home. Our quick-witted, eight-year-old son has crossed over the line to sarcasm. One day in particular, he was sarcastic every time I spoke to him. I repeatedly asked him to stop, but he continued. I put my foot down, "Enough sarcasm! I don't want to hear another sarcastic word for the rest of the day." Within thirty minutes we had yet another sarcasm offense. Unfortunately, this time I was the offender. My son and I gaped at each other in surprise. "Okay," I conceded, “that goes for me too!"

We also have a problem with bossiness in our home. My three-and-a-half-year-old daughter leans toward bossiness. Forget the leaning. I have caught her actually clapping her hands at her dad and brother as she tells them to quiet down. No "please" or "thank you" necessary for this little one; she simply makes her demands known. We have been working on training her to add please and thank you to her requests. She is so happy when she remembers to speak kindly to others. The other day I zipped around the house getting things done. In the midst of telling the children do this and pick up this, I realized there had been no please, no thank you, and no kindness coming out of my mouth. Okay, the apple does not fall far from the tree . . . again.

The Bible tells us in James 1:22-24 that the Word is like a mirror. If a person reads the Word and does not do what God is teaching him, it is like looking in the mirror, turning away, and forgetting what he saw. Our children are great mirrors. They mimic how we live, reflecting our lives to us. 

It is not always the bad stuff either. I hear the joy and laughter as my children play together. Sometimes I see them working out their differences with good communication skills. I see the kindness and respect for others when they are playing with other children. I get to hear some of their spontaneous prayers of praise and supplication.

While I was pregnant with our firstborn, I was told that I would not see any rewards until my children were twenty-five. Only then would I know if I had been a successful parent. I have discovered that that is not entirely true. I see my rewards and failings every day. I see where I need to adjust and where I, by God's grace, am succeeding. I just need to pay attention.

Of course, while our children can be mirrors, they cannot be the plumb line. I must have a time of study of God's Word, preferably daily, and a time of communication with the Father of all parenting. What an awesome Father He is! I would be remiss not to seek His guidance down this parenting path full of twists, turns, and uncertainties.

We home schoolers tend to be in our children's spotlight twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We generally see this fact as a great opportunity to engage in the hands-on training of our children, as we are instructed in Proverbs; however, it is difficult to correct or teach where we have not been corrected or taught. Other professionals constantly upgrade their skills by subscribing to magazines, reading new books, attending conferences, and communicating with and learning from those further along in their careers. Our job description, according to Ephesians 4:11-12, is to equip our children "for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ." What greater sources could we find than the Bible and our Father in Heaven to help us grow and fine-tune our skills in parenting and help us grow in godly living, filled with love and grace?

As we seek God's guidance in raising our children and planning their school year, from curriculum to activities, it is certainly challenging to plan time for ourselves to be in the Word and in prayer on a daily basis. It is, however, an effort worth making. Psalm 119:105 gives us encouragement in how to find our way by reminding us that God's Word lights the way. In order to continue walking in God's Word (John 8:31), we need to continue reading and studying God's Word. It is the Word that sanctifies us and cleanses us. (See Ephesians 5:26 and I Timothy 4:5.) In Isaiah 50:4, God reveals how eager He is to begin the day with us in His Word. 

In Psalm 5:3, David besought God that He would hear his voice in prayer in the morning. When we are told to "pray without ceasing" (I Thessalonians 5:17), we are issued a golden invitation to enter into that privileged fellowship of walking with the God of the Universe. How amazing it is that we can walk and talk with the One who created the galaxies, as we perform ordinary tasks around the house like washing our zillionth dish or folding our child's favorite outfit for the third time that week!

Our children are our mirrors. Are we watching? Are we applying to our own lives what we are teaching our children? Do we expect our children to say please and thank you when we do not? (I am blushing; I know all too well where my daughter gets her bossiness!) Do we expect our children to walk in holiness, while we give ourselves more latitude because we are adults? Do we guard their hearts but not our own? In humility, are we allowing God to use our children as tools to train us as we train them? Many times I will ask my Daddy in Heaven, "Did you see what just happened?" God will quietly nod His kingly head and say, "Yes, and I've seen it before . . . in you. Now, do you remember what I taught you and the grace I provided for you?"

God bless all of us as we pursue Him and His guidance down the awesome and rewarding path of home school parenting.

Meet Leslie Aune

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