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Everything I Know I Learned

 in Home School

Melody Gillum

Texas Home School Coalition Association REVIEW © May 2008

A nice diploma from the University of Texas at Austin hangs in my home, verifying that I spent many hours there learning the science of education. After graduating I taught in the classroom, where I discovered that educational theory could not hold a candle to classroom experience. I became a mother and discovered that child training was entirely different from behavior management. Then I became a home school mom of seven and got a real education and discovered that everything I know I learned in home school. 

I know that character is more important than academics. 

When I first started homeschooling, I thought my job was to impart great knowledge to my brilliant children. Academics are important, do not get me wrong, but I quickly learned that an educated fool is still a fool, and the Bible does not have anything good to say about fools. Our focus promptly shifted to training in righteousness, and my family learned about obedience, honor, respect, and stewardship; academic excellence naturally followed.

I know that experience is a great teacher.

We love books. We have filled our home and our children’s lives with books. However, no matter how many books you read about bicycles, you will never learn to ride one until you get on one and try, fall, and try, try again. We could read about community helpers, but children need real learning in the real world, so we talk to the postal clerk who explains the new postage rates, and we learn from the mechanic who fixes our car. We chat with the nurseryman at the garden center and visit with the grocery store cashier and fellow shoppers in line, and the children learn when it is safe to talk to strangers and when it is not. We grow a garden and succeed—or fail—and learn how to learn from our mistakes. We use books to enhance life’s experiences, but we make sure to experience life!

I know the best place for socialization is the home. 

There is nothing quite like a room full of twenty five-year-olds. Popular “wisdom” claims that same-age social interaction is the way to properly create a well-adjusted society. I look around me and I see that it is not so, unless your goal is a mass of followers. Who are they following? Each other. At home, children learn the values of their parents. They also learn all our bad habits right along with our good ones, which creates a healthy desire in us parents to be good examples, so everyone benefits. At home, they learn to get along with all ages of people, at all times of day, in all kinds of situations. If you can get along with your family, you can get along with anybody.

I know that relationships are more important than rules.

This was a hard-won lesson for me, as I trained up a child who tested each and every rule we had as if his life depended on it. His journey took him through serious trouble as he experienced the consequences of his choices. His journey took me through serious heartache as I watched him learn the hard way, yet again, but as an adult with legal consequences. Nevertheless, he learned. And so did I. This son God had lent me had been matured into a man through a storm of circumstances I would never have chosen. When the storm subsided, my house was standing firm--weather-beaten, but stronger than ever, stripped down to essentials. A strong, resilient parent-child relationship is the glue that bonds a family. Good rules exist for the benefit of the people they serve. Rules based on the Word of God will stand; rules based on what people will think will not. Sometimes we think our rules are the foundation and walls and roof of our house, when they are only gingerbread decorating the porch columns. Relationship matters.

I know that being real teaches more than being right.

If I win the argument and lose the child’s heart, what good is that? If I am right and go about everything in a wrong way, then I have not Love. With a big family in a tiny house, we have lots of opportunities to practice respecting others and putting them first. We hurt each others’ feelings and make mistakes, but in the face of true repentance, forgiveness flows, hurts heal, love grows. We grow close, not because we have no choice, but because we like each other. We have real feelings and real problems and find real solutions based on Scripture. Now my three grown children have the same values we do, even though they disagreed with some of them as youngsters. Life lessons last.

I know that people are more important than things.

Oh, the sacrifices we home school parents make! We spend a lot of time and money to provide for our children’s educations. We pay for lessons, we buy tools, we select curriculum, we arrange co-ops and field trips. Sometimes we skip a vacation or do without new furniture or a second car. But they are only children once, and then our opportunity is gone. I am a grandmother now and I am watching the fruit of my labor blossom and grow. One day I may choose to spend time and money on things. But for now, I choose the children.

I know that it is not about me.

The home schooling life is not about me; it is about God. It is about obedience. It is about my children, my grandchildren, and the generations to come. It is a life of training and teaching, of learning and growing.  It is about living a learning lifestyle with the family first. And it is about doing the best I can with what I have and what I know. 

We have now been a home school family for twenty years. We have ten more years to go! Of all the adventures I have taken, the home school life has taught me the most important lessons. When I look at that diploma from UT, I am proud of the work it represents; but I know it was just the beginning of learning. When I look at my children, I am thankful for the work God has done; I know they are my real diploma. 

Meet Melody Gillum

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