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Support a Support Group?

Sheila K. Campbell

THSC REVIEW © November 2003

An old English proverb states, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." I looked around at the sea of faces that filled my home—men, hot and sweaty, with faces and hands covered in dust from a hard day's labor. Most had brought their own post drivers, gloves, and fencing pliers, and all had brought a willingness to work. Seventeen men and their families had come to erect a wire fence around my half-acre patch. My husband had purchased the materials earlier, and we had hoped to move our animals onto our own land soon. Now that he was gone, I desperately needed to move our animals, but building the fence seemed an impossible task for my children and me.

Just two weeks before, these same families had brought an abundance of food, compassion, and support. Many of them had driven over forty-five miles one way three days in a row to offer support and assistance after the death of my husband. They also provided and served one of the meals on the day of the funeral, a task usually reserved for the church.

Traditionally the church family has been there to perform these tasks for grieving families, but with the majority of women now working, many churches are finding it difficult to minister to others on the spur of the moment. I was very thankful to my home school support group. Integrity Educators families were willing and able to drop everything and come to my aid. Friends such as these are becoming rare in today's society, but I am blessed to have many such friends, due largely to our involvement in Integrity Educators.

Support groups, such as Integrity Educators, can offer more than just opportunities for field trips and activities; they can offer fellowship, friendship, and support. Home schooling is a challenging life style when everything is going well, but when difficult circumstances arise, such as illness, death, job loss, or other circumstances, it can be overwhelming, and although home schooling has become a common and accepted form of education today, many families still find they are in the minority. Fellowship with other members of the community or church, although pleasant, can still be unfulfilling when children and school is a limited topic of discussion.

Friends, even Christians, who choose to put their children in public school, may feel that our convictions on parenting and schooling are a passive condemnation of their parenting style, especially if we have other "conservative" views. These friends, although concerned, may be unable to offer the support and encouragement we need when life's difficulties challenge the convictions of our hearts and hinder our home schooling decisions.

Although I love my church family dearly, my lifestyle often distances me from many of them; and my soul still needs fellowship and encouragement from like-minded friends. The friends in our support group are from various denominational backgrounds, but they often have more of the same basic family values than the families within our church community. I am not encouraging anyone to leave their church home, but just as Christians need fellowship and encouragement from other believers, home school families who educate their children at home because they feel a strong calling from God to do so, need encouragement to remain true to that calling. Encouragement is often more valuable than information, especially when families find themselves in difficult situations. More families abandon their calling to homeschool their children not from a lack of knowledge or desire but from a lack of encouragement.

I have found however, that there are many home schooling families who do not seek encouragement from others. These are usually very strong Christian families whose convictions to homeschool come from God. I admire their strength. They may not need the encouragement that a support group can provide, but they may be able to offer support and encouragement to others who struggle with their convictions. Friendship is a two-way street, and many times we may offer encouragement and support for many years before we are on the receiving end of that support; but the support of other like-minded friends can often prove to be invaluable.  Ecclesiastes 4:9 states, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” We need each other because God has designed man with a need for companionship—not only to lift up others but also to be lifted up.

Just as each Christian has been given different gifts that edify the church, individual members of a support group may bring different talents and interests that benefit and help balance that group. With the exception of voting and encouraging others to do so, I am not overtly involved in politics. However, there are certain members in our group who are far more politically involved, and they help keep the rest of us involved and informed when we need to be.  I believe this involvement is necessary if we want to keep the freedoms we now enjoy.

Political information is not the only vital information that is shared among the members of our group. Most home school families have a limited income, and moms share ideas on inexpensive teaching tips. Some members are very frugal and are always willing to share tips on purchasing curriculum at discount prices. Curriculum swapping is another advantage of knowing several home school families. Other members with more organizational skills will arrange field trips and outings. Many support groups offer group activities such as choir, sports, or athletic activities that are difficult to do alone even in a large family. Not all members will desire leadership positions, but all are capable of supporting the leaders and praying for the group and its members.

Having a strong support system can be invaluable when we are faced with difficult circumstances. With the encouragement of friends, I have continued to homeschool after the loss of my husband. They have also offered help and support over the years as I dealt with the unique circumstances of home schooling and raising a severely handicapped child. Our group has ministered to its members in countless ways over the years.  We have taken food for times of surgeries, illnesses, deaths, and births and have tended children for emergencies and offered assistance when able for those in special circumstances.

Membership in a support group can also build character and maturity in adults as well as children.  It is not always easy for adults to walk in unity with each other, but I have been privileged to learn many valuable lessons from other members over the years—lessons about the value of uplifting others, acting in love, following leadership, growing through discipleship, showing sympathy and compassion, and recognizing the dangers of gossip.

Even disagreements and strife can be character-building for my children and me. Learning to disagree and still love each other builds friendships that are bonded stronger than ever; and mature, loving relationships are a rarity in this world. Therefore, do not walk this road alone. Link arms (and perhaps hearts, too) with others who follow the same calling. Support groups have much to offer, not the least of which is support.

Meet Sheila Campbell.

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