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Learning by Osmosis

by Sheila Campbell

Texas Home School Coalition REVIEW © August 2004

 “This date will live in infamy,” my boys sang out in unison with President Roosevelt, as we watched the movie Pearl Harbor.  Although we had never seen the movie, they knew those famous words.  Neither of them had actually studied World War II as part of their academic schoolwork; however, they had heard those words several times in dinner table conversations, both at home and at my parents’ house.  My dad, a history buff, often leads the conversation at mealtimes in the direction of historical facts.  Presidents (both present and past), great men of science, inventors, wars and the causes behind them, even algebraic formulas have been a part of daily conversation my entire life.  These topics are all related to current events or problems, either in the nation or in our household.  Daily problems, such as plumbing, broken furniture, an oil change, even a light bulb that needs to be changed, have often become learning and teaching sessions.

 In the highly competitive society in which we live today, many parents feel the need to expand the education of their children beyond basic academics.  Many children now belong to one or more teams, have lessons in music, art, foreign language, and participate in other extracurricular activities.  All of these activities are good, but the combination of two or more may leave children (and parents as well) tired and stressed, with little or no time to themselves.  Not even home educating parents are immune to the current trends of society.

With the increasing number of activities and programs available, some even designed for home school children, home school parents are tempted to enroll their children in a variety of programs to dispel the myth that home school children are socially inept and to enable them to compete with their public school counterparts.  Parents can still be influenced by peer pressure, and many home school parents feel the need to prove their children are able to excel, not only academically, but in other areas as well.  According to Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld in The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, “The most competitive adult sport is no longer golf, it is parenting, and the results are children who are over-scheduled and sleep-deprived.”  

Our society has produced a generation that is accustomed to instant results.  From instant coffee to drink with our instant breakfast, to instant credit on our most recent purchase, having it now is easy, and parents assume that the right programs will produce talented and educated children almost instantly.   Gregory Jones, author of Taking the Long View, asks, “Is it any wonder we have commodified time and become preoccupied with ‘quality’ at the expense of ‘quantity’ time with our children?”  Parents are replacing time to converse with their children (and thus impart their knowledge and God’s wisdom) with programs, because daily conversations do not seem to produce the instant results that programs do.  Gregory Jones goes on to say, “There is no substitute for the quantity of time we spend with our children.  We ought to hope that it is also quality time, but we cannot afford to contrast one with the other.  Both parents and kids would be a lot less stressed with more back porch conversations, and the results might be surprising.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

It might be easy to assume that, since we are at home with our children all day, we spend plenty of quality time with them, but home school families can also suffer the stress of overburdened schedules.  Family and devotional time as well as important spontaneous conversations often get cut short when we are rushing our children through their schoolwork and out the door.  

Today’s children, although they are provided with more structured learning activities than any other generation, are missing the learning opportunities that occur in daily life.  This is because scheduled and structured learning activities are not the only way children learn.  According to Dr. Rosenfeld, “Children need down time to think, discover, imagine, create inner worlds all their own and hear their inner voice—the one that makes them draw a unique picture or write an unusual story.”  Although children still need an adequate dose of structured academics, daily exposure to a learning environment that is relaxed can stimulate learning more than an aggressive schedule.  A relaxed home atmosphere in which information is discussed is more conducive to retention of information by children; in addition, it improves family relationships and causes less stress to the family budget.

The hurried pace of our society is creating a generation that does not know how to slow down and savor life.  Life becomes a scheduled list of activities that proceed from rising with a ringing alarm and then mechanically swinging into schedule, to hitting the bed when the last activity is finally completed.  Our relationship with God also suffers when our schedule is too full.  Prayer and devotion time are often limited.

Children who grow up with this pace are not likely to change as adults, regardless of their dislike of this type of lifestyle.  However, in order for this generation as well as the next to learn to savor life, we must break this hurried pattern; for it is in the savoring of life that a deeper relationship with God is developed and great minds are formed.  It is in pausing to stop and smell the roses that we remember who created the roses.  Psalm 46:10 states, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Often it is only when we stop and be still that we truly sense God’s presence around us.

Children need time to call their own—time to investigate and explore God’s world and find their place in it. They should be encouraged to pursue other activities, but how do we parents encourage them to pursue other activities on their own without making them feel pushed or over-scheduled? After all, is not that the point of all the programs into which we put our children in the first place?

Parents should remember that children still have the need to imitate, and the way we spend our time indicates our values.  An activity is valuable only if we desire the knowledge it affords and we know how to apply it to enhance our lives.  The same is true for our children.  Parents push children to learn but do not show them the value of that knowledge.  What is important to parents will be important to kids.  Twelve hours of piano practice and weekly lessons are good if a parent who had lessons as a child still plays at home or if a child is musically inclined and wants to learn to play.  If music is an enjoyable activity, is part of their leisure activities, and will enhance their daily lives; then it is worth the sacrifice of time to obtain that knowledge and skill.

Parents who read produce children who value literature; parents who keep a daily journal illustrate the use of good writing skills.  Parents who make time for prayer and daily devotions encourage their children to develop their own relationship with God.  Religion, politics, history, or issues related to work should be topics that are discussed as a matter of daily conversation.  If changing a light bulb can become an interesting lesson in electronics (or history, if that is where your interest lies), it will be easier to encourage your children to obtain this knowledge.

If the duties of life are looked upon not as duties but as pleasurable parts of living and if knowledge is something that is always sought after in our own lives, these values will likely be handed down to our children.  There will always be unpleasant duties in life to which we must apply ourselves, but we should enjoy life as a whole—not simply exist from one event to the next.  Knowledge is obtained throughout life, and childhood is the best time in life to obtain a desire for learning; but children will only desire what they enjoy, so they must have time to enjoy learning.  If we instill in our children a lifelong desire for learning, then we will have given them the key to knowledge.  A child who truly enjoys learning will enjoy life, for learning should have a purpose in enhancing lives—our own and those of others.   Knowledge should simply be the by-product of living.

Meet Sheila Campbell

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