by James Nutting

It is hard to believe we have been homeschooling for seven years already. We began when our only son started fourth grade. He is now a junior in high school and is enrolled in the local university, taking his first college course (concurrently). Amazing! Going back in time a few years to watch how all this came about is an interesting trip we like to take every once in a while.

My wife, Lorena, and I built our home in 1985; one year later our son, William, came into the world. Our neighbors already had four children and were homeschooling them. We watched the family next door and decided that what they were doing for their kids probably was not all that good because the kids were all too often outside during the day. Sometimes we questioned whether the kids were learning at all. Occasionally Lorena and I would look at each other and agree, “We will NEVER do that to our child.”

Not long after, Lorena’s sister, who lives in Oklahoma, announced that she was going to homeschool her two boys, and we were less-than-enthusiastic. As we watched over the next couple of years, however, we noticed the boys did quite well. Both of us are public school teachers and often engaged the boys in conversation, asking them questions about this home schooling thing they were doing. It was obvious the boys were doing well academically.

One of our first concerns was—I know, I can hear you say it with me as you read these lines—“But what about their SOCIAL skills?” Just being with the boys for a little while quickly dispelled that concern. They were involved in a good number of outside activities, were active in church and Bible quizzing, and interacted with different age groups with ease. “Okay, that is good for them,” we thought.

Our other neighbor just happened to be my wife’s other sister, who, by this time, had two children and decided she was going to homeschool as well. “What is going on here?” we wondered. We were now watching three families close to us who were homeschooling, and it was obvious something good was happening. The kids were not suffering but instead were most often excelling. Our nephews in Oklahoma had taken their first shot at the ITBS and were doing remarkably-especially in reading and math. To any public school teacher, these are the two biggies. The other family next door was still doing things a bit differently, but even their kids were reading at or above grade levels.

We continued enrolling our little guy in a private Christian school through the third grade. At the end of that year, we paid off our home. Now Lorena would not have to work anymore. “Cool,” I thought. “I wonder what she will do with her time.” She seemed reluctant to actually resign, so I encouraged her to do so by writing her letter of resignation while we were on summer vacation and told her, “Sign it.”

She needed that little push, and with that one act, we determined we were going to get much more involved in our son’s education—we were going to become home schoolers. After all we were “highly trained” public school teachers; if we could handle thirty-eight kids in a class, times six or seven classes per day, SURELY my wife could handle her own son. If it did not work out, we could always put him back in school before we messed him up too badly.

Lorena tells the story about the first year in typical fashion, I guess, but there was nothing typical about it for her and William. She often describes how she was nervous and quite worried about the responsibility she had taken upon herself. She was just as structured as she had been in public school; her lesson plans reflected the layout of a regular class with thirty-plus kids. As the first year evolved, she learned to be a bit more flexible. She eventually allowed William’s personal tastes to prevail in choosing which class began the day. For instance, he still prefers to start out the day with the easier, less taxing activities and progress to the more complex throughout the day. His grades did not suffer; in fact they improved, so, “Why not?” she determined.

Her next concern, of course, was about interaction with others. William is an only child, and so she enrolled him in everything she could with our local support group and a number of other outside activities. The idea was that he would not become a hermit in his own home and grow up isolated. Later we discovered that most home schoolers do much the same. If the average public schooled child is involved in two to three outside activities and the average home schooler is involved in four to five activities, then William was involved in six to seven. We still tend to get him involved in as many things as possible but are now beginning to think that we may have gone into activity overkill a few times.

We both prayed that our son would meet some really good, solid, Christian boys and develop healthy relationships with them. God has answered that prayer through our local support group. We are so grateful for all the kids in his life. He has met some of the neatest kids God ever allowed to walk on earth through our group. Some have been from families with similar value systems; some have not. That is fine; it is important to see how other families live. It is quite a comfort to know that when he visits friends in their homes, he is safe. All of them have been brothers in Christ.

For the next four or five years, we evaluated how each year went and decided another year would be fine. I have to admit I was totally convinced that once he got into high school he was going to go to public school. You see, I wanted him to experience the real world. Does it not almost make you ill to even read those two words together? I would not be honest if I did not share with you that I actually believed at one time that the real world of public education was better for all kids. Think of the activities: the UIL competitions, homecoming, sports, the dances, the prom, and a real graduation ceremony. And while we are at it, let us add learning to get along with a hugely diverse group of people—all his own age.

These past seven years have rolled along and have brought a few insights. Remember, we were public school teachers who knew that in OUR classes, the kids learned. One day information I came across in one of those ever-so-enlightening and not-so-informative in-services stated that the average public school kid gets three to three-and-a-half hours of instruction per day in the United States. I was shocked, and then I analyzed my own time spent in class actually teaching. With taking attendance, the tardies, the kids who need passes to do whatever is the reason they need to miss class, and the discipline problems a teacher must confront, I believed the statistic was accurate. I watched and became more acutely aware of how many minutes each of my students actually sat waiting for me to teach. I was most disheartened.

We realized that our son did not endure hours of waiting for instruction. He did not watch other kids disrupt class and miss valuable class time. He could go on as soon as he was ready and not be required to wait for the entire class to reach a certain, prescribed level before beginning another lesson. It was obvious; we had to press on and do what was best for him. Our local support group already had a sports program; they participated in PSIA, the private school’s equivalent of UIL; they held a special Valentine’s Day dinner for the students; and yes, they have a real graduation ceremony every year. In fact this last event is the most special to us because it is small enough that the parents have an opportunity to plan and be an integral part of the ceremony. We could not do that at public school.

Lorena and I believe one of the things we should do is give back to those who help us. Our support group has given us so very much. We have friends because of the group. William has a very diverse group of peers of different ages (more like the real world), and the activities abound. We were asked to help serve in leadership about six years ago. That has been a remarkable education for us both. Sometimes it is difficult; sometimes it just plain fun; and it is always, always a learning experience.

Our group is a Christian group that was begun almost twenty years ago by five families. A few years ago, our group experienced that through which many local support groups go—a re-evaluation of what kind of group we were going to be: Christian or secular. A few of our members who were part of the executive committee decided it was time to update our standing rules and write a constitution. We learned later that one of the objectives of this effort was to redefine what the group would be. What they wanted was a support group whose primary purpose was to be a home schooling group only, but not necessarily Christian.

Our group already had a history of being Christian, and many of us felt that purpose should not be compromised. We sought advice from several quarters, and some said that we ought to acquiesce and let this small, very vocal band of people have their way. Others suggested a compromise of some sort although every time we tried to entertain that idea, we just could not come to an appropriate arrangement. We learned that if you decide to be a Christian group, to ask: if it is really Christian or it is really not. Is that not just what Scripture teaches—to either be hot or cold and not lukewarm? As we tried to find areas of compromise, we found that all too often we were going to have to put up with things to which Christians definitely would not agree to having to submit their children.

Co-op classes were going to be taught by non-Christians, and in the spirit of fairness and openness, we would have to allow evolution to be taught. We would have to allow some cult members to teach or serve in leadership. We became convinced that we had to do what we could to preserve our Christian core value. We sought additional counsel from Tim and Lyndsay Lambert of THSC. We even wondered if we were alone in facing such issues. They counseled, assured, and most importantly, prayed with us. There were many long, arduous, and very frank discussions that sometimes became heated that winter and spring.

Yes, Christians can have opinions—especially home schoolers. Did you ever notice that about home schooling parents? When you think about it, it only makes sense. We are homeschooling because we are not the kind of folks who just accept whatever is the political correctness of the day that the public school has to accept. We dare to confront and then stand up and declare, “That is not what Scripture says; why would you expect us to teach our children THAT?”

When all was said and done that year, another, secular home schooling support group was formed. They do not focus on a Christian education, and that is fine. It is what those folks wanted. We, on the good advice of others, decided to allow anyone to join our group as we always have. We are open and yet are able to maintain our Christian roots and purpose by allowing different types of membership. Our group decided that the voting members would be those who agree with our Christian purpose by signing our statement of faith as laid out in our constitution. These voting members can serve in leadership and teach in co-op classes. We also allow those who do not wish to sign this statement, for whatever reason, to join as associate members. After three-plus years under this arrangement, we have discovered to our delight that this is a good plan. It allows everyone who needs to be served by our local group, yet maintains that we are standing for something so important: Jesus first in our kids’ education.

Our group continues to grow every year. Back then, however, it did not matter to us whether we grew or not. What mattered then and now is what it is we are teaching our children. We are teaching Christian education. Period.

We are quite grateful that God has led us down this path—one we would never have chosen for ourselves. Remember the neighbors next door? We were NEVER going to do that to our kid! Yeah, right. Sometimes that Never path is just the right path.

James and Lorena Nutting were THSC’s 2001 Leaders of the Year. They were nominated and recommended for this honor by members of their local support group, HOPE of Hidalgo County.

To nominate a leader from your group for THSC’s 2002 Leader of the Year, see our website, www.thsc.org, for a form or watch for one in the February 2002 REVIEW magazine. The Leader of the Year will be announced during Home School Week in Texas and honored at THSC’s annual Awards Banquet.

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